This summer, I coached dozens of smart, ambitious women. All of them are hungry for success, and all of them ask me the same question:

“But… how do you get it all done?”

And the answer, the real, unfiltered, no-nonsense answer, is simple:

I don’t.

I could tell you that I’m super organized.

Or that I have a lot of help.

But the truth is: I don’t. I don't get it all done. Not even close.

Shonda Rhimes said it best in The Year of Yes:

“Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means that I’m failing in another area of my life. If I am killing it on a script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kid’s halloween costume, I’m probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in. If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am probably missing my baby’s first swimming lesson.

If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the trade-off. You never feel 100% ok. You never get your sea legs. You always feel a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing.”

We’re conditioned to want to do it all. And I believe you CAN do it all, but not all at once. And that’s OK.

This is the truth. And it’s my truth this week, in particular, as I take on a big new job and minimize my ongoing commitments.

I'm starting a new job (!) and I'm excited about it—and I refuse to feel pangs of guilt for focusing on it and only it.

For the next few months, my website may not be as updated. My newsletter may be delayed. My side hustles are most definitely being turned down a notch.

Does that make me any less committed to my overall success? Nope. Does that make me a bad blogger, or mean I’m going to kill my momentum? Absolutely not. Does it mean I’m going to avoid burnout and be happier (and healthier!) in the process? NOW we’re talking. Yes. Yes. YES.

Life rewards the doers, that much is true. But life also rewards those who prioritize what's actually worth doing.

Life rewards the doers, that much is true. But life also rewards those who prioritize what's actually worth doing.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to do it all, and be it all, and see it all. And for what?

To hashtag our hustle on Instagram? For the temporary gratification that comes with a completed to-do list? Because being an ambitious human means doing it ALL and then some?

The only person who is expecting you to do it all is you.


Instead, all we can do is show up to our lives, openhearted, knowing our limitations and trusting our intuition.

You can do anything, but you can't do everything. It's time to get selective. I guarantee you'll feel happier for it.

This article originally appeared on

Read next: Before You Make Your To-Do List, Make a To-Be List

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You Can't Do it All At Once