Connect With Yourself Using These 4 Questions
How well do you know yourself?
On the surface, that question seems like a pretty easy one to answer. After all, you’re the one who spends the most time with yourself.
But when I stop to think about it, I realize I don’t spend much time getting to know myself.
While it’s easy to list off your likes and dislikes, it takes a lot of introspection to get to know the deeper parts of yourself.
We often forget to process the experiences we've had and the lessons we've learned before moving on to the next thing—and that lack of self-reflection can make it difficult to find meaning in our day-to-day.
“Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning,” Jennifer Porter, an executive and team coach, explains in Harvard Business Review..
Proof that it's beneficial: Studies show that employees who reflected for just 15 minutes at the end of the day for 10 days straight performed 23% better than those who didn't.
It serves as a good reminder that getting to know yourself and reflecting on your experiences can serve you both in the present moment and in the future.
Here are a few questions to help you get to know yourself even better today.
1. What things do I value in life?
Identifying and connecting with your values is key to living a meaningful life.
Start by noticing the different aspects of your life or daily events that help you feel fulfilled. Maybe it's catching up with a friend, getting some solo creative time, or having an honest conversation.
Once you pinpoint your values, then comes the fun part: Seeing how you can bring more values-aligned moments into your day.
2. What's a goal I have and why?
It’s easy to dive into your goals at the beginning of the year, month, or even week—but how often have you circled back to reflect on your goals and your purpose behind those goals?
Remember your "why" behind the goals you've set for a boost of motivation. And if you feel like the goal is difficult: Think of ways you can adjust it to make it more doable.
By checking in on your goals, you can adjust and use your findings to recalibrate your day-to-day actions.
3. I will be successful in that goal if ___.
One important reminder that gets lost in the shuffle of daily life is that you get to define what success means for yourself. Your definition doesn’t have to look like someone else’s definition, and there’s strength in that.
For me, success looks like being at peace with my actions (and that means a lot of me practicing self-forgiveness sometimes). For others, it looks different.
“Success for me means intentionally creating goals consistent with my values and meeting those goals to the best of my ability, without compromising myself physically, mentally, or emotionally,” one wise Shine member wrote recently in our Daily Discussion.
Think through your definition of success and how you can extend yourself grace along the way.
4. I will celebrate my progress by ___.
Your progress, whether small or big, is worth celebrating! And it's up to you what that celebration looks like.
Use mini-celebrations to help fuel your motivation as you take on new challenges and obstacles. Pro-tip: You can celebrate a near-win, too. You don't have to wait until a goal is fully completed or "crushed."
Something definitely worth celebrating: How you're taking time to get to know yourself. Whether it's with these questions or your own self-reflection practice, getting to know yourself is one of the best self-care gifts.
It takes time, but little by little you'll start to understand yourself—and that'll unlock your most meaningful life.
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